It’s such a relief to be into college and have one less worry for my senior year. However, I am now starting to realize its impact. At the end of the year, I knew things/people were going to start to separate but I never thought about the distinction between early and regular decision, how the two would connect and distance people. I have known where I am going next year since around October, so I felt very alone then when I couldn’t really talk to anyone beside my family. Even more so, when ED applicants were being denied and I knew I had a saved spot at Columbia, it was extremely difficult to sympathize with them but not come off obnoxious since I understood their disappointment yet did not share it. So for about 2 months, I found myself avoiding the subject-partly out of respect for my peers who were so nervous and partly out of fear of appearing too conceited. Now that people have started hearing acceptances, the atmosphere is much lighter and friendlier. People are genuinely happy for one another because they too have gotten into at least one school. Also, I know I can say that I have a lot more school pride as I start to transition out of high school-I am gaining a perspective that my time here is fleeting and I am pretty pleased with what our school has offered me. I go to an excellent high school and I want as many people as possible to get into challenging colleges or to the schools that they want to be at-this is a good reflection on TA and I want that.
For me, now that I am officially going to such a challenging school next year, the people closest to me have really upped the standards. I am also putting pressure on myself to be better, do better. I know that the fact that I got accepted means something but I’m beginning to rethink everything. My organizational skills, physical appearance, manners, and most importantly, my academics are all a constant worry for me. What I’ve done to this point has apparently worked but I can’t help to compare myself to the ideal image of an Ivy Leaguer. My Dad especially has no problem pointing out everything that I should be adjusting. He constantly has been asking what I’m reading and how much, why I don’t have all A’s, and that I should make some big alterations to the way I run. I know he has good intentions but the pressure that I put on myself is enough-I think the most important thing for me to do in the time I have left before college is to work at my New Year’s Resolution, and to imagine present situations of being at Columbia and the student I want to be there.