I have always felt on the verge of out of control. This is not based on a destiny kind of thing but that at any minute something could go wrong. These thoughts or images are most apparent in my dreams where I imagine countless scenarios. They can be good or bad-just like Macbeth’s dagger. A dagger and what he intends to do/does with it are what is negative but its appearance and how it affects Macbeth was also positive as it scares him and forces him to face the reality that his actions are evil. Similarly, the image for me of being out of control is scary but the thoughts that it forces me to have, can have a positive influence. I won’t list each specific dream because they show the same pattern and it goes something like this- I am running in my backyard, running hard yet carefree, determined but having fun. All of a sudden my big toe plunges into a hole while my body continues to propel forward. At first I laugh and just stand up, but then I collapse and begin to cry as I realize that I am seriously hurt. I choose to not just view this as a silly childhood dream. I think of it more as a lesson-to be careful, thankful, and that it is easy to try to brush over the trauma, ignore underlying pain, move on too quickly. Allowing for this image to stick with me has led me to reflect and work towards preventing something like it or more serious from happening again in the future. Macbeth would have loved to have killed Duncan and been done with the matter but the dagger serves as a reminder of what he’s done, the evil of his actions.
Act 2-#5 March 6, 2013